Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I'm a pushover for kids. Especially if the child has some type of disease or disorder that puts him or her at a higher risk for being teased and abused by peers. This sympathy probably stems from personal experience, but admittedly, I choke back tears when watching Hallmark commercials.

Twenty months ago when visiting friends at the corporate office, there were some jokes and remarks about the owner, the VP of production and some other guys growing out their hair long. I took up the challenge for vain purposes at first, to fit in as one of the guys.

A few months later an opportunity to help others through this silly endeavor became evident. Children undergoing chemo treatment or suffering Alopecia could use a wig or hair extensions. Ironically, one of the younger stars on Flickr that I've come to admire (for her willingness to humble herself and her professional, yet fanciful style) has Alopecia and uses hair extensions.

So it was decided to grow out my hair the required length for donation. It hasn't been without it's sacrifices. And as I've come to even like having long hair it will be another sacrifice to cut it back. Still, there's good with each season in life and the satisfaction of knowing how the past 20 months of minimal effort will bring peace to a child or young-adult's life brings a great satisfaction.

What I've learned over these past 20 months:

1. Hair doesn't grow out at the rate of an inch per month. It's more like 3/8 of an inch permonth.


2. As a long haired man, I've "frightened" many grown-ups... until I started looking more like a smiling Jesus hippy.


3. The younger the child, the less affected they are to seeing long hair on a man.


4. Each inch of long hair from the forehead causes another annoyance until it reaches about 7 inches long.
   • First it gets in the eyes
   • Six weeks later it's into the nose
   • another six weeks and it curls into the mouth
   • Yet another six weeks it tickles the chin
   This is probably why so many long-haired women have short bangs.


5. Nearly all shampoo has lauryl sulfate in it. This chemical weakens the hair and over-strips the protective oils from it. (Great site about shampoo ingredients.)


6. When doing any type of physical labor that requires you look down, any hair that isn't tied back obstructs your view.


7. It's difficult to pull back all your long hair and the one strand that isn't bound with the rest will find its way into your face when you roll down the car window to let in the outside breeze.


8. Long braided pig-tails and a bandanna doesn't make me look as cool as it does for Willie Nelson.


9. Long haired men that walk with confidence are stereotyped as successful photographer/musician/artist.


10. Women who brandish well-kept natural long hair have garnered my respect.

Freebie Friday

When you need your eyes and hands for something other than a good book, there's the audio route. I prefer MP3s for their versatility. You can burn them on CDs and play them in most modern CD or DVD players, upload them to an iPod or stream them to a networked media device. And if that isn't your cup of tea, you can always burn them back into Audio CD format.

I'm cheap. If someone offers a good free product, it draws more attention than a paid one. Below are some free audio book resources online. All legal. All public domain.

The Human-Read audio books at Project Gutenberg contains a series of LibriVox recordings. What sets LibriVox apart is it's community oriented style. People record themselves reading a chapter of a book then submit it. Though most books appear to be read by the same person, there are times that different chapters are read by different people throughout the experience.

I try to avoid the automated text to speech processes. The old ones were horrific and sounded more like a 1980's TI-99. The newer ones sound like they recorded a person speaking a few hundred words then vicariously cut and pasted the audio. Although an improvement, it lacks the tonal inflection and emotion that makes story listening a pleasurable experience.

Of course, the best way to get enjoyable audio from a good book is to have a loved one read it. I read to my children almost every night and even record a few books for times when I'm away on business. Reading becomes interactive as the children start asking questions and adding their own commentary. It gives me insight to their likes and dislikes and provides the benefit of reminiscing over childrens' books that have been long forgotten from my own youth.

Twenty touches

Each night my children and I spend anywhere between fifteen minutes and two hours together. Most of that time is spent reading before bedtime, but that time is also used to reconnect.

Many years ago, my wife and I attended a Gary Smalley seminar where he briefly mentioned the importance of touch. It's something we all need to live. So I thought to myself that if I don't supply my children with enough positive words and touches each day then there may come a time in their teen years that they look for that need elsewhere and end up experimenting with touch in ways that isn't allowed outside of marriage.

So I asked my kids, "Do you get enough loving touches throughout the day: pats on the head, pats on the back, hugs, kisses... stuff like that?" They all answered "no". So I wondered - how much do they need? Then came the question. "How many times do you feel you would need to know you are loved?" The eldest child only thought briefly before saying her answer: "Twenty times!".

That's quite a bit of touching to take place over the two to three hours I have available for them during the week days. With the size of my family, if everyone got 20 touches a day that would add up to 100 touches a day - not including our dog.

If that were spread throughout a three-hour-twenty-minute period it comes out to touching someone every 2 minutes.

I only remember getting a meaningful touch about once every other week growing up, which was still more than most of the kids I knew. I'll bet our society has even pulled back to the point that children are only given a meaningful touch once a month, and that's reserved for when the child initiates the hug.

One last thought - giving my children that access to my personal space makes me a tangible figure for them. I become more real and more accessible in ways beyond the physical. Hopefully they'll learn that and come to their real accessible Dad during the more trying years ahead.

D-A-D-D-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E

This video drives me crazy. I can't get enough... it's more addicting than the caffeine from the liquid that inspired it.



Edit: The Coffee Song is written and performed by Ralph's World. Sheer Genius Fun! Go check out the sample songs online then buy the CD from Amazon - it has exclusive bonus videos ($11.99).

Thanks for the tip: Little Blog on the Prairie and Ze Frank

Lame

I used to lead worship for our church's children regularly for about 8 years. During that time I found it necessary to ask kids if they knew what they were singing about.

I recall reading some humorous notes from school teachers where a class had been required to write out the pledge of allegiance (to the flag...).

From that, and through some of the college classes regarding music instruction to grade-schoolers, I understood that children don't necessarily know what's going on with the song so you have to ask some basic questions.

So we were singing "Peter and John" also known as "Silver and Gold Have I None":

Peter and John went to pray
They met a lame man on the way
He asked for alms and held out his palms
and this is what Peter did say:

"Silver and gold have I none,
But such as I have give I thee.
In the name of Jesus Christ
of Nazereth rise up and walk."

He went walking and leaping and praising God,
Walking and leaping and praising God,

"In the name of Jesus Christ
of Nazereth rise up and walk."

Noticing the look of blank seven-year old faces in the crowd I stopped and asked some questions. I could understand the younger kids not understanding the content, but by seven I expect them to understand the gist of the song.

Me: "Does anyone know what lame means?"
only one boy held up his hand - he was about 7 or 8.
Boy: "Boring!"

(Insert snickering from the present teachers)

I know he only understood "lame" in today's slang context ... as in "That movie was lame." But there is a hidden allegation that children's worship is also "lame."

One of the frustrations felt as a worship leader is that the children expected to be entertained. Their short attention span could only be held by a laser-light smoke-machine strobe-light pounding hard-core show ... or at least some puppets.

Our overabundance of TV watching and video games are designed to under-sensitize children. If you laden their little brains with flashy videos and fast music then you can grab their attention more than your competitors... which means your sponsors are happy.

Those children from homes without much TV - or any TV tend to be more responsive to their environments and definitely hold longer attention spans ... and who knows ... they might even know, by looking at the social behavior of their peers, the real meaning of "lame."

"Nothing Better to Do"

Several days ago my youngest daughter, three, started learning about Jesus' crucifixion. We've spoken to her about it before, but this was the first time she actually understood it to some extent.

M to Mommy in an excited voice: "Is it true? Is Jesus Really Coming Back?"
Mommy: "Yes. He's coming back someday."
M: "Yay!" (Spins around in circles as fast as she can.)

A few days later my wife took the children to a thrift store where the little girl saw a cross...

M to Mommy: "Look, Mom. A cross."
Mommy: "Do you know what happened there?"
M: "Jesus died."
Mommy: "Yes. Do you know why He died?"
M: "Because He had nothing better to do!"

Children can be so funny at times. Neither my wife nor I could figure out where that response came from. On "Jeapordy" she would have lost hundreds of dollars on that response. Looking deeper at the meaning, though ... she's right!

Matthew 26:50-54 brings this to light in Jesus' own words when Peter sliced off the ear of the high priest's servant at the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus warns Peter about what violence brings then says something we hadn't heard before: "...do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels? How then could the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen thus?"

Jesus knew He had a way out of being crucified. It wasn't steel and strong wooden beams that held Him to the cross. At any moment He could have cried out to God and Jesus could have ruled in might and power - but then He wouldn't have fulfilled His word.

John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Jesus had nothing better to do than to save the world from sin and death ... than to bail us out of the eternal prison we walked into when Adam sinned at the beginning.

He had nothing better to do than to die on the cross.